Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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