Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
