I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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