Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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