Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize