How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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