office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Congratulations! We have a period
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
