She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
