ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
