Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Randomize
