i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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