Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Randomize
