I heard we made out
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize