plz talk dirty to me
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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