and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
