my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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