Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
he shaved USA in his pubs
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
