Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
