This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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