Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
