yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
