So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
