There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
