there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
