Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Can't talk, ducks in the car
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
