This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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