She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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