Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
