remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
