i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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