the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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