His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
