And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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