4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Floor bacon is actually really good
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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