I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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