I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
