Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
