okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
