I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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