We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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