sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
