covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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