I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize