i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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