I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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