Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Two words: blizzard sex
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
