I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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