nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
