The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
