This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
