wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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