Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
