i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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