just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
