We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I am midnight drunk by noon
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
