one might say we're banned from that church
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
