I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
