Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
