Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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