The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
