If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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