; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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