Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize