I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
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