first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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