What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
